15 February 2007

just a quickie

Tonight for my sound class we went to a concert on campus. It was a choir concert. As I sat there listening for natural reverb and natural resonance I found myself not missing choir singing really at all. It just seems so boring! Sure, it's very pretty, but I got bored tonight. That was the first thing I realized. Don't miss choir (eventhough if I want a music minor, i might have to be in choir for a while...)

The second thing it caused me to ponder on was how my scholastic desire has changed since I was about emily's age. I bring this up because a member of our class was singing tonight and was worried he'd miss the lecture, not get participation points, and *gasp!* maybe not get a perfect grade in the class. richard, my teacher, assured him last thursday night that he could listen just from a different point of view.

When I was emily's age all the way up until probably my second year in high school (being 11th grade) I was like that. I remember being so nervous over this and nervous over that. blah blah blah. emily was home the other day and flipped out over some assignment that she forgot to do or something and she was almost in tears. i kind of want that to come back! i get so lax with my class attendance now. once i figured out i could get away with it in high school, there was no turning back. and college has even more freedoms. i pick the lectures i want to hear, and the lectures i want to miss. it's a terrible habit! and i'm trying to break myself from it. i don't think i'll stop until i completely bomb a class and get a d or some joke like that.

take for instance a five page paper due tomorrow. have a started? no. will i tonight? yes. will it take me longer than an hour? no. will i get anything lower than an a-? well if it's like the last paper i wrote for this class, no. granted, i've had classes, and papers where i feel the need to get started on early. take for instance my application packet. i'm taking that VERY seriously. it all goes back to the balance thing. once i've learned how much it takes to please a teacher, i'll only go that far even if i know i could give more.

it's a terrible habit, and one day it will burn me and it will burn me bad.