15 July 2008

i think i'm in what one might call a rut. haha. don't get me wrong. my life for the most part is -- good. but nothing in the past year, it seems, has gone the way i intended for them to go. i switched jobs in january from speeches. a very good change, but to a job where my description sometimes changes day to day. (and maybe that's why i don't hate it.) job and work wise i've always been pretty lucky to be quite choosey as to where I work. i hope that is at least one trend that I can always have no matter where i go or what i do.

i thought i would be done with school. i was off. way off. well not way off, just off. i want to be done with school -- yet it's one of my constants that i grasp, even if i complain about it. school is school and will always be school. i can always count on it for that.

i thought i would be moving to new york city in august. and i think i'm pretty sure i've removed that completely off the table. at least for now.

i'm trying to find a reasonable place to live in provo. with griff -- now that's just fun no matter where we live. but still i don't really want to pay to live in a dive. of course, sometimes the dives can be fun .... ??? haha. we'll see how that plays out.

here's the confusing one for me. i'm starting to enjoy reading more. i have bought more books this past year than i have ever purchased. right now i am reading one called "the china study" (thanks clawson). it's a good thing to do while i'm riding the bus.

friend circles haven't changed, but friends have come and gone. moving here, there, and maybe back again. i have fun with my core friends like whitney, griff, and stacey. miss my friends like michelle (sorry ross. i wish you were around more but referring to michelle clawson who lives in vegas), laura, julianna, and enjoy my new friends like katy, steve, riley, and megan. all offer me different perspectives on just about everything.

things aren't terrible here in utah, but i still have this underlying desire to go. i don't know what that "going" involves. just that next chapter. i'm to the point where i want to skip ahead to the next chapter because it's only a few pages away, but then realize that i need to read the last few pages and not skip ahead because there is important information that I will need in order to be more prepared for the following chapters.

i get myself so excited about things, and then sort of freak myself out.

so for now -- i'm going to remain excited. excited! because graduation really is around the corner. summer is full of exciting things with merry wives starting to come charging full speed ahead with sweeney todd looking like it will happen in oct as well. two exciting shows! (and maybe i can be in sweeney...).

bring it on world.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

I totally feel you... I want to get out of P-town and to the east coast so bad... impatient. But by the way, we are doing thansgiving in NYC- the parade and all. Anyone who can come is invited- that means you! Miss your face- hang in there!

Landon said...

isn't it funny how we look forward to the next chapter in our lives thinking 'i'll be happy when that happens.' i keep looking forward to finishing school, getting out of utah, etc. but there are things to be happy about right now! live in the mo...-ment... haha.

ok, maybe that was more for me than it was for you. :) you like me anyway.

sweeny? when/where is that happening?

Jules said...

I miss you, too. A lot. And, let me just say that it might not be fun for you to live in a dive, but I think it would be hilarious--especially when you're living with Griff. Can I come over and play? Please? :-)